I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
