He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
