marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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