I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
This house was built for laser tag.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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