Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
