When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
