I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
