Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
