But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
