That's intense
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
