just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
