I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize