Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
