if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
