okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Congratulations! We have a period
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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