also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
