She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
