My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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