Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
