But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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