I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
