I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
