i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
