WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
