R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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