is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
