You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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