how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
