I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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