I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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