at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
