OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
