He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
