i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize