you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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