this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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