I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
