You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
