Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
