maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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