In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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