fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
