he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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