OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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