we have officially lost it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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