wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
