don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
