Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
