I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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