The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Its about making memories worth repressing
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
