I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
How's work?
Spinning.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
