Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
