we have pet lesbian snakes
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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