Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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