I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
