I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
vagina is talking i cant
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
