Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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